The Hardest Thing
by xxjmm96xx
Summary: A day out with the 'rookies' is just what Andy needs after the undercover operation. But for some reason she just can't get everything Sam has said and done out of her head. Andy thought the hardest thing was Sam leaving her, but getting over him was worse. Much worse. Set after 4x01.
1. A Day Out With The Rookies

"Trust me!" Gail said, dragging a heavy cooler out of the back of Chris' truck. Chris was instantly by her side, relieving her from carrying the cooler and shutting the back of the truck. Gail gave him a grateful smile and turned to Andy and Traci. "This is just what we all need."

It was true. With everything that had been going on lately, their lives, personal and professional had gotten hectic. Between Jerry's death hitting Traci so hard, Chris finding out he had a kid, Gail almost losing her badge, Andy and Nick's UC job and Dov trying to stay away from Crystal, everyone had gotten so stressed and wound up. A group trip to the beach had been Gail's plan, but the idea had sounded enticing to everyone. A day at the beach to unwind and get away from everything for a little while; who wouldn't jump at an opportunity like that?

"Trust _you?" _Andy teased. "Does that really seem like a good idea to anyone here? Anyone?"

Gail pretended to look offended, but she ended up smiling. Since nearly losing her badge, Andy had noticed a change in Gail. It was subtle, but it was there. Don't be fooled; Gail still acted like a bitch sometimes. But she smiled more and joked more rather than using blunt sarcasm to be a jerk.

They trekked the short distance from the packed parking lot to the sand; it felt longer because of the heat hanging over all of them.

Andy kicked off her flip flops once she reached the sand, tucking them into her bag that was slung over her shoulder. She sighed as her feet came in contact with the warm sand and she wiggled her toes. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea.

It took them an unusual amount of time to decide on the 'perfect' spot, considering they all had differing opinions. Traci wanted a place that had a lot of sun while Gail wanted to be near one of the lifeguards. The guys wanted to be closer to the water. But eventually, they were settled on their towels, an umbrella perched lopsided in the sand and the cooler was cracked open.

"Toss me a beer?" Andy asked, stripping off her tank top and wriggling out of her shorts to reveal her simple deep purple bikini. The swell of her breasts were there for everyone to see and Gail watched the guys stare at her appreciatively. She elbowed Nick in the ribs.

Dov leaned over, raising his eyebrows at Gail as he grabbed a can out of the cooler. Gail pointedly ignored him but Dov wasn't fooled. He gently tossed the beer over to Andy as requested. She caught it with ease, gasping as the cool metal came in contact with her bare skin. She cracked it open and leaned back on one shoulder facing the rest of the group, her long hair flowing over her shoulder.

The others soon followed Andy's lead and stripped off the unnecessary clothing; the guys discarding their shirts and Gail and Traci were soon in their bathing suits. Gail's was black and skimpy and Traci's was hot pink with ruffles.

Soon, they were all drinking and eating, chatting and laughing; relaxing, just as was planned. Andy had to admit, Gail was right about this one. This was exactly what everyone needed. They all avoided talking about everything that was going on in life and chose instead to enjoy the moment.

Andy shielded her eyes, observing everyone. She watched as Nick rubbed sunscreen all over Gail who was grumbling about being so pale that she couldn't sit out in the sun for long before turning into a lobster. Andy looked at Traci and smirked; neither one had any use for sunscreen. Andy still wasn't sure how she felt about Nick. Every time she looked at him, she saw the gun he held to her head. It was something she would get over, but it would take time.

Chris stood up, pulling a beach ball out of nowhere. "Come on guys, into the water!" he prompted, tossing the ball into the air so the rainbow of colors became a blur.

Everyone stood up and chased each other towards the waves. They turned heads without even trying; whether it was from their looks or the fact that they were adults acting like children they weren't sure.

They splashed into the water, disturbing some older people beside them who shot them dirty looks and quickly exited the water. "Someone's allergic to fun!" Gail called out and Dov snorted. Andy dove head first into the water, reveling as the salt water cooled off her feverish skin. She surfaced a few feet away from the others, her hair slicked back.

They began a fun game of what started off as some version of volleyball but then very soon after became a game of keep away from Dov, who was not thrilled with the game, but played along, even getting the ball a couple of times.

A few hours later, they dragged themselves, exhausted and giggling back up the beach to where their things lay. They were wet and soon had every stray grain of sand sticking to them and getting into places that was super uncomfortable.

Andy collapsed on her towel, still laughing, her head falling to the side, watching as everyone fell back into the places they once were. She lay down, finding a nice position to tan. She closed her eyes, but kept listening to the group as some of them carried on scattered conversations. There was only so much small talk they could manage before they delved into more sensitive topics.

"So what was the undercover job like?" Chris asked, taking a swig of beer. Chris was a good cop, but he didn't have that natural raw instinct that Andy had or the kind of training that Nick had had in the army. He knew that he would never get an opportunity for any type of undercover job. He may have been the poster boy of 15 Division, but an undercover cop, he was not. So, he chose to live vicariously through the cops who had more exciting opportunities.

"Chris, I thought this was supposed to be a work free zone," Gail groaned, her big sunglasses taking up more than half of her face.

"It is," Chris said. "I just really want to know what it was like." He gave a small apologetic smile.

"It is boring a lot of the time," Andy admitted. "Until you get a part of the action. It may not be long, but it really gets your heart going." She was referring to when she had gone searching for Nick and got caught looking at one of the drug lord's computers. Before she knew it, she had been knocked unconscious and awoke in the back of a truck that was carting around meth.

Andy slowly let her eyes drift shut once more, allowing Nick to give Chris the dirty details he wanted. Andy still didn't much want to talk about it. Andy was so relaxed she could have fallen asleep. In fact she might have dozed off a couple of times. She could feel the stress seeping out of her shoulders…

Turning her head opposite her friends, she let one eye slide open part of the way. The world was slightly discolored from having her eyes closed against the bright sun for so long. A man with dark hair and a fine physique walked by and she could have sworn it was…

Almost against her will, Andy shot up, getting a little dizzy from getting up too fast. Or was it one of the many beers she had downed? She went to go look for the man that had reminded her of Sam, but he was gone.

"Andy, are you alright?"

Everyone was looking at her, concern etched in their faces. It was obvious she had interrupted the easy flow of conversation and she silently cursed herself. Leave it to her to ruin their relaxing evening.

She slowly realized that they were all looking at her expectantly; awaiting an answer. "Oh yeah, I'm alright. Sorry everyone." She gave a small smile and after a few minutes, everyone turned back to what they were doing. Her mouth was dry and she kept swallowing, trying to shake off the feeling that thinking she saw Sam gave her. Shakily, she lay back down on the towel.

But just like that, her thoughts gave way and she could think of nothing but Sam. Sweet, delicious Sam. Stupid, backstabbing Sam.

She closed her eyes and all she could see was Sam's lips all over Marlo's. Andy was surprised to feel the back of her eyes stinging signaling the onslaught of tears. This led her to get pissed at herself almost instantly. How many more tears was she going to shed for this guy? Sure, she had fallen in love, but it wasn't like she hadn't been in love before. It was clear that at first, he hadn't returned her sentiments. He couldn't even say it until she was holding a bomb. Then she comes back from her UC job and he is already all over the new recruit? That's not love. It seemed Sam Swarek didn't know the meaning of the word _love._

But really, did she expect Sam to sit around for the six months she was gone, pining away for her? That wasn't how he operated; she of all people should have known that. And what the hell was he doing being a detective? It didn't make any sense to her. Maybe she shouldn't have agreed to take the undercover case. Or maybe she shouldn't have called Sam when she needed help. Either way, that was in the past.

Andy needed to stop living in the past she realized. She couldn't change anything that already had happen. Instead, she needed to focus on the present, maybe the future. Most of all, she needed to get Sam Swarek out of her head for good. That would be the hardest thing.

Feeling satisfied with both her train of thought and her tan, Andy sat up, blinking a couple of times to get used to the change in light. The sun was sitting lower in the sky, she realized.

She also realized that she wasn't the only one lost in thoughts that were dragging her down. Traci was sitting, hugging her knees to her chest. Andy scooted over to her, snagging a water bottle out of the cooler and passing it to her. Traci looked up at her and thanked her and Andy noticed tears in her eyes before she looked back down.

"Thinking about Jerry?" Andy said knowingly, but quietly so it was just the two of them having the conversation.

"Am I that transparent?" Traci said, wiping her eyes.

"C'mon Trace, I'm your best friend. I can tell when you are upset," Andy said. She knew that Traci could do the same thing to her as well.

"It's just hard," Traci conceded. "I keep thinking about the time Jerry surprised me and he got Leo and he drive us out to the beach and we spent the whole day there. He was so good with Leo," Traci said, reminiscing. "Telling Leo was one of the hardest things I've ever done. He misses him as much as I do."

"I know it's hard right now, Trace. But it's going to get easier. And I'll be right here, helping you through it," Andy said, drawing Traci close into a hug. Andy kept thinking about the fact that Sam had ultimately blamed her and her instincts for getting Jerry killed. It still haunted her to this day.

Traci allowed herself to be comforted for a few minutes before thanking Andy and they both threw themselves back into the group, trying to have fun, even if it killed them. It wasn't long before they were talking and laughing again.

Suddenly, Andy felt someone by her ear. It was Nick.

She couldn't help it; she involuntarily flinched away from him. He looked hurt, but he shook it off and she didn't say anything about it. He handed her a drink, but lingered by her. Feeling that he wanted to tell her something, she turned ever so slightly in his direction.

A smile remained plastered on his face, but he said to her, "You remember that night…?"

That was all he had to say. It had been a mistake. It was a long time undercover. They were both lonely and scared. They needed someone and they were there. They had slept together and had vowed never to speak of it again.

"I remember," she choked out. "What about it?"

He hesitated, knowing she held all the cards in this situation. "Can we just not tell Gail about this? I know we said we didn't want to tell anyone, but I really don't want anyone to find out, especially her." He looked sheepish. "I just got her back. I don't want to lose her again."

Andy understood. And it wasn't like she thought sleeping with Nick that one time was going to lead into a relationship. She had no intention of telling anyone either. But him asking her again, it felt like a slap in the face. Like everyone else's lives were coming together and hers was ripping apart at the seams.

"Yeah, sure, no problem," Andy replied wearily, more to get him away from her than anything. There was no way she was going to ruin Gail's happiness. "It was a mistake, nothing more."

Nick sensed he had hurt her feelings and he gave her a look of concern before he noticed Gail's sharp eyes glaring into him like daggers. With a parting look, he made his way back to Gail's side.

It wasn't long before dark fell. An unusual chill seemed to imbed itself into them.

Shivering, Andy pulled her clothes back on, gazing up at the many stars that she could see twinkling in the sky. If only she had someone special to share them with… But no, she was enjoying this time with her friends instead.

All too soon, the evening was over. They all began packing things up, trying to make sure they didn't forget anything, fumbling around in the dark and the sand. They had just picked everything up as the high tide rushed in, soaking their feet.

Groggily, they all made their way back to the truck, tucking everything safely in the back and piling in. After some discussion, Dov agreed to drive back since Chris was the one who had driven them all to the beach. Chris hopped in the back next to Andy, who was crammed in the middle. Gail sat atop Nick's lap. Chris gave her a look of sympathy and tried to scoot over to give her some room.

Dov started up the truck and they were soon on their way back home. Back to their old lives with the old stresses and fears.

The thought made Andy so frustrated and she sighed with exasperation but no one paid much attention over the sound of the radio. She knew she was being ridiculous but she just couldn't help it. _Tomorrow, _she thought with a yawn. _Tomorrow will be the day I get over Sam Swarek, _she vowed.

The gentle sway of the truck soon lulled her into complacency. She fell asleep, leaning against Chris. Chris, ever the gentleman, shifted and wrapped his arm around Andy to make her more comfortable. He could tell she was having a rough time and he would do anything to help Andy, as he would any of the other 'rookies'. They were a family and that's what families did.

Andy, even in her sleep, was relaxed by Chris' concern and comfort. She slept the entire ride home.


	2. Unwelcome Thoughts

_**So from some of the comments I received, I realize that some of you are upset about the tryst that Nick and Andy had during their six months of undercover. As I wrote in the first chapter, neither one of them wants to dwell on it, and it was one time. It does not make it right at all, especially since Nick is in a relationship with Gail, but on Andy's part, she and Sam were broken up. As a fan of McSwarek, there will soon be some Sam and Andy interaction, but I wanted to take this chapter to address some of your concerns. As always, thank you for your input!**_

* * *

Andy felt Chris shaking her awake and she flung herself up, swiping a hand over her mouth to check for drool. Chris' big chocolate brown eyes looked at her, amused.

"Your stop, m'lady," Dov piped up from the driver's seat, with a horrible accent. Andy realized that they were indeed pulled to a stop in front of her apartment building.

It was still dark outside and with all the lights from the city, Andy could no longer see the stars, even though she kept craning her neck out the window.

Stifling a yawn, Andy said, "Thanks guys." Although, most of them were sleeping, Andy really had had a great day out with her friends.

Andy shrugged her way out from under Chris' arm and elbowed Gail none-too-gently in the rib cage to wake her up. Gail moaned in protest. "You sleeping on the couch tonight?" Andy questioned, her mouth thick with sleep.

Without surprise, Gail answered in the negative and proceeded to fall back asleep. She had been staying at Nick's house more often. Andy assumed that in no time, they would be living together.

Andy hopped out of the truck, climbing over Chris and nearly elbowing him in the nose. She offered a quick apology and a smile as she went around to the bed of the truck to grab the bag she had brought.

She stepped back on the curb to let Dov know she was all set and she stood waving as he pulled away to drop off his other passengers.

A rush of cold air hit Andy and she suddenly didn't feel as tired anymore. She let herself into her building and trudged up the stairs.

Her skin felt grimy and all she wanted was a shower. And now that she was fully conscious, her mind was flooded with things she didn't want to think about tonight. Digging through her bag, Andy eventually found her keys and after fumbling with the lock for a few moments, she let herself into her empty apartment.

After being with her friends all day, dealing with their rambunctiousness, she had never felt more alone. And it was then that she realized she didn't want to be anymore.

Sullenly, she dropped her bag by the door and flipped on some lights, making her way towards the bathroom. She turned on the shower and stripped her clothes off, discarding them in the hamper by the sink.

While she waited for her crappy water heater to kick in, Andy peered at herself through the mirror. It was still the same Andy, but there were some subtle differences that she had noticed recently. Her eyes were dull, like they had lost their light; she had been more subdued lately. The corners of her mouth were more often tilted down rather than creasing her face in a ready smile. Her hair had grown out and it was wilder, more unruly.

Shaking her head, she leaned away from the mirror and stepped into the now steaming shower. The water was so hot it scalded her skin and she hurriedly reached over and turned the knob for some cooler water.

She lathered her hair with first shampoo, followed by conditioner. She covered her body in soap, trying to remove the sand that seemed embedded in her skin.

Andy didn't feel much like singing in the shower like she usually did (very much off key) so of course her brain started to tune back into the thoughts she was trying to avoid.

Andy knew the causes of the subtle changes in herself. Two words. _Sam Swarek. _ She couldn't be with him, couldn't be without him. Only now, it seemed that Sam had completely moved on.

And why shouldn't he have? He had every right. Sam had finally professed his love to her and instead of trying to make things work with him, she ran away from her problems, just as she always had and just like she probably always would. Now, she felt even guiltier because of her little romp with Nick months ago. She apparently hadn't been willing to wait for him and it was obvious he didn't wait around, pining for her. In the back of her mind, she had a feeling he wouldn't wait, but there was always that little pinprick of hope that when she returned, they could be together again.

She still didn't have a good reason for sleeping with Nick and it was obvious that he regretted it. Both of them were unattached at the time; she and Sam had broken up, Nick thought Gail was heading to Europe. Not that it made it right, but she didn't exactly regret it. They were both in a bad place; it had been a particularly taxing day and they both were tired of dealing with druggies and seeing the amount of death that they did. They had needed someone and they were there for each other. That was where it ended. Nick was a good guy, but he was a better friend and he and Gail belonged together.

But she still couldn't get Sam out of her head, no matter how hard she tried. And try she did. Why couldn't she be friends with him like she did with Nick or Chris and Dov? Why did things have to be so much different with Sam?

The easiest answer that she could think of was the fact that she still loved him. But she had put her heart out there one time and there was no way that she was going to do that again. Not that he wanted it; he wanted Marlo because she didn't bring to the table all the complications that Andy did.

Even still, she couldn't get the words he said to her while she held that bomb in her hand, out of her head.

_I love you, Andy. _

But it had been too late. He had already broken her heart, left her standing, crying in the rain. She had spent so long trying to get over him and then all of a sudden, he wanted her back. It had pissed her off, but at the same time…she wanted to go crawling back to him despite all her "Breakup Buddy Rules." She wanted to kiss him and fall asleep next to him at night.

Instead, she had taken the UC job and she would never know if it was the right choice, but right now her heart was severely protesting.

Overcome by emotion, she slid down until she was sitting, knees curled up to her chest as the water pelted her from the showerhead above. Her shoulders rocked with sobs that she had been holding in. She felt unhinged; she never let anyone get under her skin so bad. In general, she didn't usually let people get as close as Sam did because she always wound up hurt.

She slid back so that her back was pressed against the smooth tile on the wall, the only thing that was keeping her from collapsing into a puddle and slipping down the drain.

Memories flashed in her head.

The good ones started first. Tackling Sam her first day on the job and later finding out that he was an undercover cop as opposed to a junkie. Running to his house during the blackout and almost sleeping with him. Sleeping with him when they were both undercover. Waking up next to him when they decided to give a relationship a try. Giddily proclaiming she was in love with him, the awed look on his face.

The bad ones were close behind. Sam practically blaming her 'instincts' for getting Jerry killed. Leaving her after he broke up with her. Asking for his keys to his truck back. Kissing Marlo.

Andy laid her forehead on her knees. Water flooded her nose, eyes and mouth. She wanted to scream. It was all so frustrating.

Finally, she lifted her head gasping, gasping for breath. And just like that, it was a little easier to think.

She pulled herself to her feet, turning off the water and stepping out of the shower. She pulled a fluffy black towel around her body, wrapping it tight and shaking the water from her hair so that it stuck up at odd angles.

Her resolve was still there. What she had decided at the beach- that she would get over Sam- still held true. Andy knew when she was beat and she also knew that she had spent too long trying to get her relationship with Sam to work. She knew when to quit.

She eyed herself in the mirror. She know had a hardened look but she looked more confident. She could do this. It wouldn't be easy, but she could do this. She would just have to focus on work, throw herself into the demanding job. But, she decided, she would lay off the UC work for a little while.

Andy toweled herself off and tossed the towel in the hamper as she walked into her bedroom.

She looked at the clock, resting precariously on the edge of her nightstand. It was close to one in the morning.

Suddenly, the fatigue from the day out in the sun was back and she collapsed on her bed, naked. Pulling the covers over her, she hoped for a good shift at 15 tomorrow.

* * *

_**So, I hope that pacified some of you in regards to the Nick/Andy topic. But a shift at 15 Division promises some Sam and Andy interaction. Can someone say awkward…? Reviews are welcome. I'll get the next chapter up soon! **_


	3. Red Light

_**Sorry that it took so long for the update. I've been focusing on my other Rookie Blue fic, **_**Never Stop Fighting. **_**However, I missed this story and so I am back to updating. I hope you enjoy the chapter.**_

* * *

Andy's eyes fluttered open and it was at that moment that she realized the sun was shining in through her window. She sprang up in bed, fumbling for the alarm clock that was on her nightstand.

"Crap." Oh yeah, she was late. So much for going for that much needed run this morning.

Andy ran around her apartment like a crazy person, throwing on the first thing that she came into contact with. Furiously, she brushed her teeth and managed to pull her hair back, which had dried at odd angles overnight.

Her first day back on the job already didn't seem too promising.

Skidding to a stop in the kitchen, Andy jerked open a cabinet and shook two granola bars out of their respective box and crammed them into her bag along with a bottle of water. Hopefully, she would have time to eat them later. She looked longingly at her coffee maker, but she knew there was no way she had time for that. She would have to skip the coffee for today and grab some of the crappy stuff they had at work.

Andy glanced at her watch. She might still have time, but not if she walked, like she usually did. There was no way she was going to be late for Parade today. She was not getting stuck in Bookings. Not today.

Andy dug her cell phone out of her rumpled jeans pockets. She could call a cab, but they would most likely take ten to twenty minutes to arrive.

"Think!" Andy cried out, fidgeting and pacing back and forth. Traci and Nick both lived too far away, plus they were both probably on their way to work, if not there already.

Realization dawned on Andy that Sam was the only one that lived close enough and wouldn't have left to go to work yet. "Oh come on," she groaned, slumping against the counter.

Andy had a decision to make and not a lot of time to make it. Call for a cab or call Sam? She could hear the clock in the kitchen ticking loudly, illustrating her point.

Andy hesitated only a moment more before taking her cell phone and dialing…

* * *

Andy pushed herself up off the front steps of her apartment building as the familiar truck pulled to a stop in front of her. She didn't hesitate because if she did, she might not ever get in. She yanked the door open and slid in the passenger seat of Sam's truck, shutting the door behind her.

Sam waited for her to buckle up and then he pulled out from the curb. One of his arms was hanging out the window, the other slung lazily over the steering wheel.

They sat in an awkward silence for quite some time before Andy couldn't take it anymore. Sam knew she would crack first.

"Thank you for giving me a ride," she said. It came out in a rush because she was nervous. She knew he could tell. She took a deep breath before she continued. "To be honest, I really didn't think you were going to come," she admitted.

Sam took his eyes off the road for a moment to raise his eyebrows at her. "And why would you think that McNally?" His eyes refocused on the road but Andy could see the delicious smirk on his face. Delicious? No, no. She meant _annoying._

Andy opened her mouth. There were a million things that she could say right now. Why didn't she think he would come? _Because you left me in the rain after you broke up with me? Because I left for six months after you told me you loved me? Because you have a new girlfriend now and have obviously moved on with your life? _But she couldn't make herself say any of those things and so she snapped her mouth shut.

After a few moments, she countered his question with one of her own. "Why _did_ you come Sam?"

Sam cocked his head to the side, a sign that he was thinking about what he should say. Finally he settled on, "Because you called and said you needed me. That's what friends do, right?" No sooner had the word, _friends_ escaped his lips then he wanted to take it back.

Andy's heart sunk in her chest. "Oh right, friends. Ouch." She averted her gaze and turned slightly so she was looking out the window. All of a sudden, the space between them seemed too close and she wanted out. She regretted even bringing up the conversation in the first place.

The truck lurched to a stop at a red light. Sam tapped his thumb against the steering wheel, unsure of what to say. He realized he had made a mistake, but he couldn't take it back now. He waited for Andy to make the next move.

"Look, I just thought it would be a good thing to talk about things because we are back working together and obviously we left some things…unresolved," Andy said, beating herself up over the fact that she was the first one to break the silence, again.

Sam chuckled without humor. "You really don't get it do you?" Sam snapped at her.

Andy was taken aback. "Get what?" she balked.

"How much it hurt to have you walk away from me. To leave me sitting at the Penny, waiting for you to show up after I…you know…said what I said," Sam finished in a huff. "This is the longest red light in history," he mumbled to himself. He didn't know why he had just said all of that, but Andy wanted to talk, so…there it was. He didn't like this whole "wearing your heart on your sleeve" crap.

Andy was equally as shocked at Sam's rare display of emotion. "Sam, I…"

At that moment, the light finally turned green and Sam pressed a little too hard on the gas pedal, causing Andy to fly back against the seat. "Shit, Sam!" she sputtered, trying to right herself.

Before she could return the conversation back to them, the truck bounced into the parking lot of the precinct. Silently, Sam parked the car. Andy glanced at her watch, noticing that, thanks to Sam, she was now early.

Andy wasn't sure what to do and her hand hovered uncertainly by the door handle. She didn't want to leave, not without trying to fix this. But she wasn't even sure that that is what Sam wanted…

Sam sighed heavily and rested both of his arms on the steering wheel as he stared out the window. The sky was bleak, the city covered with fog. "Listen, Andy…" He trailed off and Andy didn't like where this was going. "I'm happy with Marlo now. I've…moved on. That is my choice and I am sticking to it." He felt like none of this was coming out right and furiously, he rubbed the heel of his hand against his eye. "You don't get to just come back into my life and take over again. That's not how it works," he finished, exasperated. He couldn't even look at her; he just slumped in his seat.

Stung, Andy waited for him to say more. He didn't. Resigned, she pulled on the handle and jumped out.

_Say something you fool. She's getting away again. _But Sam stayed silent. It was easier for her to just walk away.

But Andy was usually one to get the last word and she couldn't leave without saying her two cents. She whipped around to face the truck, where Sam was still sitting. Her eyes were flashing; she was livid. Thankfully, the window was still open so she peered in.

"You don't get to do this either Sam. I asked for a ride, nothing more and as _friends_ that's all it should be. I'm sorry that I wanted to try and fix this. Obviously it was a dumb assumption because this is not what you want." She stepped back and Sam opened his mouth as if to say something. Andy spread her hands in an 'I surrender' type gesture. "Its fine, Sam, I understand. You have Marlo. You are happy. You don't need me. You've made your point crystal clear. I won't bother you anymore."

Satisfied, Andy spun on her heel and made her way towards the food truck she spotted when they pulled in. She needed one of her favorite smoothies.

As she stood in line, she tried to stop the angry tears that were pinpricks behind her eyes. She hated that whenever she got angry, she usually cried. She tried to go over the conversation; it could have gone so much better. She should have apologized for leaving and they should have talked calmly. But _calm_ apparently wasn't in either one of their vocabularies.

Nothing really got resolved with the conversation either. They were still just as furious with each other. But one thing was for sure: Sam didn't want her back. And now was Andy's chance to finally move on.

Purchasing her smoothie and reveling in its sweet taste, Andy turned around to head into the building and start her first shift back at work. In the distance, she watched as Sam hung his arm over Marlo's shoulder. It made her sick to see her hand encircle his waist. They walked into the building together and disappeared.

Why hadn't Sam done any of that with her? He was usually so against PDA in general. What made Marlo so much better than her? If she was finally over Sam, then why did it hurt so badly?

Andy shrugged, taking a huge gulp of her smoothie and wincing as brain freeze set in. Rolling her shoulders back, she tilted her chin up and walked confidently towards the building.

This first shift back was going to be great, even if it killed her.


End file.
